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Writer's pictureHarsh Agrawal

Did I Really Do All This? by Vijay Raman: A Gripping Memoir of Courage, Leadership, and Justice

Did I Really Do All This? Memoir of a Gentleman Cop Who Dared to be Different

Author: Vijay Raman

Genre: Memoir

Published by Rupa Publications

Pages: 253

MRP: Rs. 695/-


Thank you, Rupa Publications, for a review copy of the book.


Vijay Raman's memoir, Did I Really Do All This?, is an extraordinary journey into the life of a man who, through grit, courage, and integrity, transformed not only his career but the lives of many others. This memoir is not just an account of a career in law enforcement but a tale of a man driven by justice, bravery, and unshakable values. The book navigates through Raman’s personal experiences as a police officer in some of India's most perilous and politically sensitive areas. It offers insights into the challenges of upholding the law while maintaining humanity in a complex and ever-changing nation.


Early Life and Influences

Vijay Raman's early life in Kerala, as narrated in the memoir, laid the foundation for his future as a distinguished police officer. He grew up in Peramangalam, a modest village in Thrissur district, surrounded by the traditional values of rural India. The influence of his family, particularly the discipline imposed by his father, a World War II veteran, was evident in shaping his character. His strong moral compass and sense of justice were developed from an early age. Raman's early schooling in Malayalam medium, combined with his exposure to village life, provided him with a keen sense of observation, particularly regarding social inequalities and injustices. A key moment in the book is his recollection of witnessing the arrogance of the family patriarch, a scene that filled him with a sense of indignation. This formative experience drove him to fight against injustice throughout his career.


The Transformation into an Officer

Raman’s education journey, from Kerala to Secunderabad and finally to St. Joseph's Convent in Sagar, Madhya Pradesh, represents a transition from a rural upbringing to the complexities of urban life. The move to St. Patrick’s in Secunderabad introduced him to the English medium of education, which was a significant challenge at the time. His struggles with English and the army lifestyle provide a background to his resilience and adaptability.

In Did I Really Do All This?, Raman recounts his experience of taking the Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) examination, which paved the way for his entry into the Indian Police Service (IPS). The setbacks he faced while preparing for the UPSC exam and the subsequent appointment to the Indian Ordnance Factory Service (IOFS) illustrate his tenacity and persistence in achieving his goal. Even though he initially aspired to join the Indian Administrative Service (IAS), the IPS became his calling, and he found his purpose in upholding the law in some of the most challenging situations.


A Career Fraught with Danger

Raman’s career as a police officer is nothing short of remarkable. His assignments took him to some of the most volatile regions of India, including Jammu and Kashmir, Madhya Pradesh, and the Naxal-affected regions of Chhattisgarh. The most striking part of the memoir is his account of taking down the infamous dacoit, Paan Singh Tomar, in Chambal. The Chambal region, infamous for its bandits, was a place where Raman cut his teeth as a young officer. His confrontation with Paan Singh and his gang was not just a test of his courage but also a demonstration of his tactical skills and leadership. This encounter, detailed vividly in the memoir, reads like a gripping thriller, as Raman led his team through the treacherous ravines of Chambal amidst a hail of bullets.


One of the highlights of the memoir is the candid description of the Bhopal gas tragedy in 1984. Raman, then Superintendent of Police (SP) in Special Branch, Bhopal, provides a firsthand account of the night when more than 40 tons of methyl isocyanate gas leaked from the Union Carbide plant, killing and maiming thousands. His personal recollection of driving to the railway station to receive his parents, only to witness the horrors of the disaster, paints a harrowing picture of the catastrophe and its aftermath. The way Raman navigated the chaos of that night and the days that followed showcases his ability to remain calm under extreme pressure, a hallmark of his career.


Battling Terrorism and Naxalism

Vijay Raman’s tenure in Jammu and Kashmir as Inspector-General (IG) of Police for Security is a defining period of his career. He was tasked with overseeing security in one of the most dangerous parts of the country. His close encounter with Ghazi Baba, the mastermind behind the 2001 attack on the Indian Parliament, is one of the most thrilling episodes in the book. Raman’s undercover exploration of the site where Ghazi Baba was later killed is both exhilarating and terrifying. His instinct to apprehend Ghazi Baba, only to be pulled back by his informer, is a testament to his sharp judgment and survival instincts. The details of this mission provide a rare glimpse into the high-stakes world of counterterrorism operations in India.


Another significant part of Raman’s career was his role as Special Director General (DG) of Anti-Naxal Operations in Chhattisgarh. The 2010 Dantewada massacre, where over 70 CRPF personnel were killed by Naxalites, was a defining moment for him. The loss of his men weighed heavily on him, and he candidly writes about how the massacre affected his health and psyche. His leadership during this difficult time, and his efforts to bring the perpetrators to justice, underscore his deep commitment to the welfare of his team and the mission at hand.


A Man of Integrity

What sets Did I Really Do All This? apart from other memoirs is the way Vijay Raman’s personal values shine through. He was a man who upheld the highest standards of integrity, even in the face of immense challenges. Whether it was taking on powerful political forces or dealing with corruption within the system, Raman never compromised on his principles. This is exemplified in his account of the Indo-Pak border fencing project, which he oversaw as IG of the Border Security Force (BSF). The project, carried out under constant enemy fire, was a landmark achievement in securing India’s borders, and Raman’s leadership was instrumental in its success.


Throughout the memoir, there is a strong sense of humility that defines Vijay Raman. Despite his numerous accolades and achievements, he never sought praise or recognition. His wife, Veena Raman, who introduces the book with a heartfelt tribute, writes about how he always deflected compliments and never allowed success to go to his head. This humility, combined with his courage and dedication, makes him a rare and admirable figure.


Reflections and Legacy

In his later years, Raman was involved in investigating the Vyapam scam, one of India’s largest and most controversial examination scams. Even after his retirement, he continued to serve the nation, a testament to his lifelong dedication to justice and truth. The book also touches on his Guinness World Record achievement for circumnavigating the globe in an Indian-made car, a personal adventure that highlights his love for challenges.


The memoir ends on a poignant note, with Raman reflecting on his life and career. The title of the book, Did I Really Do All This?, is a reflection of his modesty and surprise at the extraordinary life he led. His wife’s inclusion of her own memories in the final chapters adds an emotional layer to the book, giving readers a sense of the personal sacrifices that came with his professional life.


Conclusion

Did I Really Do All This? is a memoir that not only chronicles the life of an exceptional police officer but also serves as an inspiring narrative of courage, integrity, and humanity. Vijay Raman’s story is a reminder of the immense challenges faced by law enforcement officers in India, and the personal sacrifices they make to serve the nation. The memoir is a must-read for anyone interested in the complexities of policing in India, and it offers valuable lessons in leadership, perseverance, and the pursuit of justice.


A Tribute to Vijay Raman: A Legacy Remembered

The posthumous release of Did I Really Do All This? in 2024 adds a layer of poignancy to an already remarkable memoir, as its author, Vijay Raman, passed away in 2023 after a relentless battle with illness. His passing marks the loss of not only a decorated police officer but also a principled man whose courage, integrity, and dedication to justice left an indelible mark on India’s law enforcement history. His wife, Veena Raman, beautifully captures his essence in the introduction, sharing intimate reflections of a life well-lived and the profound impact he had on his family and colleagues.


Vijay Raman’s story is not merely a recollection of high-profile encounters and missions. It is a deeply human narrative that reflects his commitment to his work, his family, and the values he held dear. Even in the face of danger, whether from dacoits in Chambal, terrorists in Kashmir, or Naxalites in the jungles of Chhattisgarh, Vijay Raman remained unwavering in his faith, not just in his own destiny but in a greater moral order.


The memoir is a fitting tribute to his spirit, revealing the side of him that many who worked alongside him revered—a man of action, but also a man of humility, who never sought to glorify his achievements. As his family recounted, Raman never wanted to write a book, often dismissing the idea that anyone would be interested in his story. However, as readers, we now know that his life was not just worthy of interest but stands as a testament to a life lived with purpose, resilience, and extraordinary bravery.


This book serves as a legacy, not just of Vijay Raman's professional triumphs, but of his unwavering moral compass and deep love for his country. His humility shines through even in the title of the book, Did I Really Do All This?—a question that encapsulates his modesty and self-effacing nature. It is a question his readers and admirers will answer with a resounding yes, as they traverse the pages of a life filled with selfless service.


For those who knew him personally and those who will come to know him through this memoir, Vijay Raman’s legacy will live on. The values he upheld, the courage he demonstrated, and the principles he fiercely protected serve as a beacon of inspiration, reminding us of what it truly means to serve the greater good. His story, though tragically cut short, continues to resonate, and this book stands as a heartfelt tribute to a man who, in his own words, dared to be different.


As we read this memoir, we not only celebrate the life of a legendary cop but also honor the memory of a remarkable human being. In reflecting on his extraordinary journey, we are reminded that heroes are not just those who achieve great victories, but those who, through every trial and triumph, live with honor, humility, and an unshakable belief in the pursuit of justice.



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